Sunday, July 19, 2009

Seven. Hopes, Dreams, Fears.

There is nothing more exciting, yet daunting about change. Change can be both an asset or a downfall. This change, can be either. As I constantly remind myself, this change is what you make of it. As high school has come to an end, I am preparing for college. My classes are scheduled, my books are waiting to be ordered, and I have begun clearing all my unnecessary items from my room. It's sensational how much a room can contain. This room has contained so many memories, both beautiful and painful. The papers that have become the lining in my drawers, are wrapped with an elementary mentality. The simplicity of each poem, each story, becomes ornate through the thoughts that wove together these pieces.

Dreaming that a bus turns into a plane, and shoots us off to rescue animals. Hoping that I would get to go swimming. Loving my family, even when they did not deserve it. These are all simplicities, that we seem to loose through our maturity. Through the pressures of appeasing those who we've always looked up to, to thinking we've realized that reality won't let us dream. That we have to conform to become worthy.

Truly, the world is not the brightest. Hope is faltering, and although fading quickly, I seem to find it in the most unlikely places. From the mind of my seven year old self, to the bands that blast from my speakers, speaking the truth that we are afraid to admit.
Hope, love, and dreams are all that I need to remain with me, as I transition from my home in California, to the cramped dorms in Boston. These cramped dorms, although not in the least bit appealing, offer me a limitless space to dream. I can grow however I want there, and choose how I want my life to run. Truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared I won't make friends, that I won't find someone to love who feels the same, that I will fail. I know it will all work out, just the anticipation is driving me mad. I just wish someone was there to say it's going to be okay.

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